Rest in Peace

Well it has been two years since Justin left this earth. As I contemplate this time, I find several things true. In order to move on with my life, old hurts and angers have been forgiven, our daily lives are going fairly well, the execution of my plan for our lives is progressing right on track, my children are going to be alright, I am going to be alright.

I find the things I miss the most are talking to him about all the places we went and all the things we did. We were older when we started our family because we were busy running around the country seeing things we wanted to see. We’ve been to Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Carlsbad Cavern, Glacier National Park, Denali National Park all the way to Washington DC and all places in between. So mostly when I am thinking of him, I think back to all those good old days and I am happy we had them.

Alaska, The Madness

Justin passed away on Sept. 12.  The kids got to see him.  I was holding his head in my arms when he took his last breaths.  That is a time that is currently keeping me awake at night but I’m sure it will ease in time.  Services are Friday, Sept 16, 2pm at the Road To Eternity Church in Duncan, OK. 

What a difference 10 years make.  Sept. 11 2001 I was a mere days from giving birth to our beautiful Olivia Marie.  I spent many long hours those last few days of pregnancy watching the horror on the news and contemplating the world I was bring my child into.  10 years later, Sept. 11 2011 had me sitting in a hospital room saying goodbye to her father who had been part of my life for 25 years.  We were married in September and said our final goodbyes in September.  I am thankful that…

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4 thoughts on “Rest in Peace

  1. I found your blog one night when I was missing things that once were like my parents and a grandmother I never met that I just found out passed away from an aunt I never knew. What a strange night it was and then I felt rejuvenated when I read your writings and saw pictures of your adventurous spirit. I travel to Alaska at night in my dreams. I’m sure this sounds silly, but I watch Denali documentaries while I knit socks and calculate the gas to run off to there every now and then when I get restless. I’m sure I will make it some day. My kids probably think I’m nuts!! You made me smile.


    • cloud9doula says:

      Thank you for writing Sarah. I’m sorry that you never got to have a relationship with your grandmother and that you miss your parents. I wonder how my kids will remember these times of missing their dad and hope I am doing a good job raising them myself.

      Alaska is in the dreams of many so don’t feel alone in that! It was and still is in my dreams as well. It’s a place worthy of dreams. Even after being here almost 10 years, it still amazes me and fills me with awe.

      Take care,


  2. 280dude says:

    Porch Buddy here….

    I am very glad that you and he were able to reconnect and spend your last time together in a harmonious manner. It shows your true feelings towards each other and the common goal of doing what is best for your kids.


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