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We finally made it home this afternoon after a long day of flights. Seems we just about missed fall. I hate that most of the birch trees have already lost their leaves.  But there are still some colored in gold.  That’s ok though, I know I’ll see them next year in all their glory.

The funeral was the 16th.    I am so thankful that the funeral director was able to trim him up as he had been too weak for the last several weeks to shave.   It was a nice ceremony as far as those things go.   I wish I would have looked behind me at the funeral but didn’t think of it at the time.  They tell me the little church was full with the exception of only a few people on the back two pews.  I did notice that the line of cars in the processional to the grave side was very long.  That made me feel good for some reason.  My parents drove me to the grave side service and my dad said that you can tell the measure of a man by how many show up at his funeral.  With the exception of the problems he had the last few years, Justin was loved by many.

So now, to get on with life.  The kids and I are used to living our day to day life without him physically here.  But we did talk several times a week and even when he was so sick the weeks before, he would still talk to the kids when he was able to.  I am mostly sad that my kids will have to settle for just me now.  My daughter wont have him to give his masculine opinion on boys she will be dating or to walk her down the aisle when the right one comes along.  My son wont have him to work on cars with and teach him how to build stuff.  I wont have him to tell me he is proud of me and that I am doing a good job with the children.  I don’t know all the stuff I need to know. Children are supposed to have two parents, whether they live together or not.  One parent can not know all the things they need to be taught or exposed to.   Anyways, I am tired and guess I am rambling.  I guess I’ll get it all figured out somehow.  Other women do it and raise wonderful children too, right?